A Family That Bleeds Together....

So I have come to the realisation that all families are dysfunctional. There's no way around it. Some may hide their dysfunction better than others but it is still there. Swept under the emotional rug, festering and becoming even more and more distasteful and hateful.

I know these things because I have seen glimpses of it in other families. People one would look at and think "aaaawwwww why cant my family be this happy together?" Those are sometimes the families with the biggest lumps of dirt under their rugs.

My family is screwed up (and I love it). Needless to say that the size of our lump has increased over the span of my lifetime, but one has learnt how to deal with all the little nuances of family life and its tricky waters one has to navigate.

The saying goes "You can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family". The way I deal with family drama is a way that works for me and is totally different to the way I handle other relationships in my life. I do not entertain non-familial relationships that tend to introduce drama into my life. The way I see it is that (especially having a big family) your family is your family and there is nothing you can do about it and you just have to suffer them no matter what... It is inevitable that issues will crop up somewhere sometime but this is the hand that life has dealt you. You can either choose to fight it out with them (not physically of course, I mean trying to work it out with them for the sake of the "family"), or live a solitary life. I do remember however this one incident which involved two of my cousins, both girls. One of them hit the other one over the head with a full bottle of beer, resulting in the "victim cousin' having to get sixteen stitches. This is the part where my love for my family comes in, because although that was a heinous act from one person to another, because they are family they forgave each other and not even a week later they were laughing about the situation.

I understand that to some people that may sound extremely convoluted and out of this world, but it is the lot that my family was given to bear in this life. I am a part of this wonderful organism which at times can be the most beautiful of things and at other times it can be the most hurtful.

I have very few friends (screw you! I'm not saying it in a "pity me" kind of way. I'm proud to have only a  few people I call friends). The reason I have so few friends is because I will not tolerate drama mongers in my life. You know those kind of people....? The ones who gossip incessantly about everyone and everything... If I have to, then I will deal with it if it was a family member, but I will not allow unnecessary chaos into my life, where all I want is peace.

Now don't get me wrong... A certain level of drama is acceptable in a friendship. without it the relationship would frankly be quite boring.

But do not come here and try to start something. I'll kick you to the curb faster than you can say "did you hear about...?"

It has been Christmas now for 1:47 minutes... The festive season always makes me appreciate my family more.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

PS. I don't really like it when people say "xmas". Try saying that word in Xhosa... it makes no sense!
PPS. I'm never using Blogger again to compose or edit a post. spell check on this thing sucks!!! One is rather gonna write up posts in a Word document.

Peace. Love. Happiness. 

Internal Festivities

'Twas the night before Christmas and all around the house my poor mother is running, finishing up the feast for tomorrow. Sadly she'll be working all day tomorrow while we, the lazy bastards she calls family, enjoy her hard work...

As I have "grown up" I have lost my excitement for the festive season. I cannot put a finger on why that is. My mind instinctively jumps to the fact that I obviously don't get the same amount of gifts that I used to get when I was younger, but then I check myself and I convince myself that I cannot possibly be that shallow... I really cannot be... I would die if I was like that...

Earlier on in the evening I had a conversation with a friend and I pointed out that my body is not what it used to be.... I realise that as one gets older your body dies, but my spirit is still so young. When I was still a spring chicken I used to party on Christmas eve, come home Christmas morning, sleep, wake up, eat then sleep again for the rest of the day. I would then start partying again on Boxing Day... A few years ago I realised that Christmas is absolutely not about the partying, but it is about appreciating and spending time with family and those whom you love (and love you back). Not to mention that all the drama/dysfunction of ones family is quite entertaining :)

That may sound awfully noble but it's the truth.... I do not even talk to the people that I used to party with back then and I think that is a testament to the truth of my revelation....

I will however concede on the point that I am shallow enough to be a tiny bit jealous of those who are out painting the town red, but I am mature enough to know that there is a better way.

This December choose your family over a party.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

Peace. Love. Hapiness.

They are coming.....

So I’m a bit of a gadget nut. I like all things gadgety and technology related. Granted I live in a third world country, that fancies itself as a first world country with regards to the pricing of things. Therefore it is with no surprise that I cannot afford most of the things I like.

A few nights ago I watched a show called “Brave New World with Stephen Hawking” on the Discovery Science Channel which is all about the future of technology in the world. This episode featured something awesome and quite disturbing at the same time. It was a robot named iCub. Apparently this robot is something quite special because unlike all the other android or android-like creations, this one has the capacity to learn.
The premise of this endeavor is that the robot is like an infant child. Like human children this robot learns as it interacts with the world. It has the capacity to change its programming so it can make decisions based on these interactions. This is how it looks…

Hi. My Name is iCub and I have come here to kill you.

It’s all sounds very ideal: one day we’ll all own our personal intelligent robots that do everything we command. But let me remind you of a few warnings we have received over the years…

⦁ iRobot

Just one look at the picture of iCub and the first thing that pops into your mind is the movie iRobot. The world at the beginning of that movie is what I suppose everyone today is looking for. We all want a servant. Low maintenance servant, one that does not need maternity leave or Unemployment Insurance Fund benefits.

Until they start to develop “feelings”, “emotions” and a “conscience”.  So we all know the robots in that movie turned on their human “owners” and I’m sure if Will Smith was not alive and skeptical about those things then I am sure that they would have killed or enslaved the puny humans. **side thought:  why didn't they use just an EMP (Electro Magnetic Pulse) to kill all the robots. I suppose then it wouldn’t be a very long or action packed movie… anyway…** What makes it even more freaky is the resemblance between the iCub and the iRobot. Do yourself a favour and look for it on YouTube.

⦁ The Matrix

Well now this is the ultimate robots- gone-wrong story.

Premise: The matrix is a computer program designed by the machines to keep the unsuspecting humans entrapped, while the real world is actually run by these machines and they keep the humans alive only for their energy so that the machines can survive. The humans are “living” in the matrix, while in reality they are in an unconscious state.  This came about many years ago when the machines rose to power and defeated the humans in a war. The last strike of the humans was to block out the sun so that the machines cannot harness its solar power, hence the fact that they have to use the energy that the humans produce in order to survive.

This is indeed a reality that could happen if these robots of ours evolve, because it is inevitable that this world that we live in will become too small for the two of us. **side note:  they used an EMP in the Matrix too kill those bastard machines**

⦁ Wall-E

I know… I know… the robot is the good guy… bbbbbbbbuuuuuuutttttttttttt….
The robot on the ship wanted to keep the humans captive on the space ship. Evil bitch!
What worries me about that movie is that the humans have become so reliant on the technology that they never did anything themselves and became morbidly obese because of their lack of activity… uhm…. Hello North America… stop watching tv and throw a ball or something…

So if you take anything from post let it be this… they are coming and we are enabling them. The reason why I am not particularly worried about it all is because of the fact that I will be dead by the time these things come to pass.

Peace. Love. Happiness

PS. I love side notes/thoughts. Just ask yo mama  :O

How bipolar am I? I know right...

Let's jump past the preliminaries of me saying that I haven't been blogging for months blah blah blah...

I'm back now and will try to do at least one post per week. Deal with it...

So I finished exams a few weeks ago and have had fun from then until last week.

First out of the gate was an awesome night partying at the beach, which ended up with me ridding my stomach from the mashed potatoes I ate a few hours before, into the toilet of "my friend's flat". All in all a great night.

Next up was my trip to Jeffreys Bay. Wow! What an amazing weekend! The Friday night we got very deep, thanx to some liquids. The Saturday morning was awesome though. Even though we only had about 3 hours sleep, I was not about to "vrek" my weekend away. I woke the others up at 7am and by 8am most of us were frolicking in the water having a great morning swim. Later that day after shopping for our braai for that evening we returned to the beach and frolicked again. Our second swim ended in us, literally, running from the life guards. Saturday night was all about herbs and laughter. *figure that one out*. We left the Sunday morning and went to Port Elizabeth for lunch. It was my second time having sushi and dumplings at Fushin. Best sushi and tempura prawns EVER! The ride back was pretty fun, except for one massive big pothole which, thanx to Shanaaz's driving skills we avoided deftly. When we got back to "the farm" we just dropped our luggage and went to watch Breaking Dawn. Again. I have now officially watched a movie 3 times at the cinema. Worth it though.

Ever since being back I have just been extremely lethargic!! I have no idea why! My body might be trying to tell me something. I think it's time I become serious about my body...

Now look... I have always felt that food was meant to be eaten and enjoyed. Why should I not enjoy myself!?!?! That is why I've always been this fat. I have tried several times in my life to lose this weight, but I have never really been serious. I have even cut out carbs and sugar at one point and I lost about 2kg's in a week and a half. But inevitably I fell of the bandwagon. And now I'm currently back to what I was before I made the changes.

I now need to make changes to my life. Real changes. To a lot of aspects of my life! I realise that it's not just exclusively my eating habits or my lack of physical activity or my emotions (I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, sad, apathetic, angry. Basically I eat when I "feel"). It definitely is a combinations all of these things. And I have to work through all of them. At this moment I dunno how, but I have enough faith in myself to know that it will work out.

I want to at least be "tit-less" when I graduate. I've graduated before and I die a little inside everytime I look at those pictures.

I will definitely keep you posted on how everything goes. I still have a lot to talk about but that will come soon enough.

Good to be back <3
Peace. Love. Happiness.

How Deep Does The Rabbit Hole Go...?

I am him. The prodigal son. I have left the blogging realm for a while. Undergoing a paradigm shift. You have many questions and although the process has altered my consciousness I remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my ramblings you will understand and some of them you will not... Concordantly while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also the most irrelevant.

So what has life been like since August 2011, you ask?

One thing comes to mind... CAPE TOWN!!! Even christmas day pales in comparison with my trip to my "hometown". I left on the 26th of Dec. I wanted to get there asap. I got there and hooked up with Gersh, Luci, Nobie, aunty M and naledz (who because of the limitations of her mental capacity felt that she needed to travel with the Intercape at the same time I travelled to exactly the same destination by way of Translux). Her bus broke down and was delayed. It's called karma! Hehehehe... Shaz came just in time for our new years celebrations.

I will give you the overview of my trip within in a few disjointed words... Love. Friends. Alcohol. Laughter. Beach. Alcohol. Train. Friends. Taxi. Cuteness. Oros. Mask. Rollers. Alcohol. Food. Crew. Mountain. Alcohol. Lllllaaaaayyyysssss. Weed. Friends. Sex (not me). Love.

In a very big nutshell it was easily the most awesome time of my life.

Then I had to return to the reality...the farm...the dump. The East London. Urgh! Yes, I'm still a student. Third year. Law. I'm loving what I study but I do not love the exams, the tests, assignments and workload. But I gotsta get that paper...

So now I'm being swamped with work and what makes it worse is the fact I'm a procrastinator of tsunami proportions.

This week is the camp weekend. I need to get a lot of work done so I'm not going.

My friends be wanting me to go on camp with them. I iz like "no I can't". They iz like "yes you can". I iz like "I can't be goingz with you coz I iz swamped". They iz like "please come, we iz be paying for you". I iz be like thinking "b!#*h I iz no living in the poverty!!!" I iz be hoping they have a great time.

So all of the above have led me, inexorably, here...

I think I'm gonna take this crappy, whiney blog in a new direction this year... *suspense music*

Remember...always take the red pill :)
Peace. Love. Happiness.