So I have come to the realisation that all families are dysfunctional. There's no way around it. Some may hide their dysfunction better than others but it is still there. Swept under the emotional rug, festering and becoming even more and more distasteful and hateful.
I know these things because I have seen glimpses of it in other families. People one would look at and think "aaaawwwww why cant my family be this happy together?" Those are sometimes the families with the biggest lumps of dirt under their rugs.
My family is screwed up (and I love it). Needless to say that the size of our lump has increased over the span of my lifetime, but one has learnt how to deal with all the little nuances of family life and its tricky waters one has to navigate.
The saying goes "You can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family". The way I deal with family drama is a way that works for me and is totally different to the way I handle other relationships in my life. I do not entertain non-familial relationships that tend to introduce drama into my life. The way I see it is that (especially having a big family) your family is your family and there is nothing you can do about it and you just have to suffer them no matter what... It is inevitable that issues will crop up somewhere sometime but this is the hand that life has dealt you. You can either choose to fight it out with them (not physically of course, I mean trying to work it out with them for the sake of the "family"), or live a solitary life. I do remember however this one incident which involved two of my cousins, both girls. One of them hit the other one over the head with a full bottle of beer, resulting in the "victim cousin' having to get sixteen stitches. This is the part where my love for my family comes in, because although that was a heinous act from one person to another, because they are family they forgave each other and not even a week later they were laughing about the situation.
I understand that to some people that may sound extremely convoluted and out of this world, but it is the lot that my family was given to bear in this life. I am a part of this wonderful organism which at times can be the most beautiful of things and at other times it can be the most hurtful.
I have very few friends (screw you! I'm not saying it in a "pity me" kind of way. I'm proud to have only a few people I call friends). The reason I have so few friends is because I will not tolerate drama mongers in my life. You know those kind of people....? The ones who gossip incessantly about everyone and everything... If I have to, then I will deal with it if it was a family member, but I will not allow unnecessary chaos into my life, where all I want is peace.
Now don't get me wrong... A certain level of drama is acceptable in a friendship. without it the relationship would frankly be quite boring.
But do not come here and try to start something. I'll kick you to the curb faster than you can say "did you hear about...?"
It has been Christmas now for 1:47 minutes... The festive season always makes me appreciate my family more.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
PS. I don't really like it when people say "xmas". Try saying that word in Xhosa... it makes no sense!
PPS. I'm never using Blogger again to compose or edit a post. spell check on this thing sucks!!! One is rather gonna write up posts in a Word document.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
I know these things because I have seen glimpses of it in other families. People one would look at and think "aaaawwwww why cant my family be this happy together?" Those are sometimes the families with the biggest lumps of dirt under their rugs.
My family is screwed up (and I love it). Needless to say that the size of our lump has increased over the span of my lifetime, but one has learnt how to deal with all the little nuances of family life and its tricky waters one has to navigate.
The saying goes "You can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family". The way I deal with family drama is a way that works for me and is totally different to the way I handle other relationships in my life. I do not entertain non-familial relationships that tend to introduce drama into my life. The way I see it is that (especially having a big family) your family is your family and there is nothing you can do about it and you just have to suffer them no matter what... It is inevitable that issues will crop up somewhere sometime but this is the hand that life has dealt you. You can either choose to fight it out with them (not physically of course, I mean trying to work it out with them for the sake of the "family"), or live a solitary life. I do remember however this one incident which involved two of my cousins, both girls. One of them hit the other one over the head with a full bottle of beer, resulting in the "victim cousin' having to get sixteen stitches. This is the part where my love for my family comes in, because although that was a heinous act from one person to another, because they are family they forgave each other and not even a week later they were laughing about the situation.
I understand that to some people that may sound extremely convoluted and out of this world, but it is the lot that my family was given to bear in this life. I am a part of this wonderful organism which at times can be the most beautiful of things and at other times it can be the most hurtful.
I have very few friends (screw you! I'm not saying it in a "pity me" kind of way. I'm proud to have only a few people I call friends). The reason I have so few friends is because I will not tolerate drama mongers in my life. You know those kind of people....? The ones who gossip incessantly about everyone and everything... If I have to, then I will deal with it if it was a family member, but I will not allow unnecessary chaos into my life, where all I want is peace.
Now don't get me wrong... A certain level of drama is acceptable in a friendship. without it the relationship would frankly be quite boring.
But do not come here and try to start something. I'll kick you to the curb faster than you can say "did you hear about...?"
It has been Christmas now for 1:47 minutes... The festive season always makes me appreciate my family more.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
PS. I don't really like it when people say "xmas". Try saying that word in Xhosa... it makes no sense!
PPS. I'm never using Blogger again to compose or edit a post. spell check on this thing sucks!!! One is rather gonna write up posts in a Word document.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
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